Est. 2026

Farts University

Veni, Vidi, Olfeci

Something is brewing. Our doors aren't open just yet, but admissions to the finest institution of its kind are coming soon.

Site under construction

A Sneak Peek

Around Campus

A first look at our hallowed (and slightly breezy) halls, distinguished faculty, and championship-caliber athletics. Brochure photos may be idealized.

University mascot, a bean in cap and gown — MascotBeans McToot, Mascot Emeritus

Portrait of a distinguished professor holding a jar of gas — FacultyProf. Reginald Windbottom, Chair of Tootology

Gothic university library building — CampusThe Whoopee Cushion Memorial Library

Department crest for Applied Aerodynamics — DepartmentDepartment of Applied Aerodynamics

Department crest for Bean Chemistry — DepartmentDepartment of Bean Chemistry

Crest for the School of Brass Section Studies — DepartmentSchool of Brass Section Studies

University diploma certificate — AcademicsDiploma in Aerodynamic Arts

Students in a lecture hall — AcademicsLecture Hall 101: Pressure Dynamics

Science laboratory with beakers — ResearchThe Methane Research Lab

University sports team — AthleticsThe Fighting Vapors, Varsity Squad

Official university seal — HeraldryThe Official University Seal

Illustrated campus map — VisitCampus Map & Visitor's Guide

Bronze founder statue pinching its nose — CampusThe Founder's Statue

Grand dining hall — Student LifeGreat Bean Hall Dining Commons

Marching band on a field — AthleticsThe Marching Band Brass Section

Graduates throwing caps in the air — CommencementCommencement: Caps to the Wind

Library reading room — CampusThe Silent Reading Room

Admissions office welcome desk — AdmissionsOffice of Admissions: Welcome, Future Windbags

Golden bean-shaped trophy — AthleticsThe Golden Bean Trophy

Aerial view of the campus — CampusAerial View of Historic Campus